(Prophetess Felicea Henson is the Executive Pastor of The Life Center International and the Founder & Visionary of Igniting Hearts Ministries)
In layman’s terms, church hurt refers to perceived spiritual pain or distress caused by situations within a religious community. When those who are looked up to for guidance and support—the clergy, lay leaders, or fellow congregants act in ways that seem hypocritical or harmful, it can cause a great shaking in the foundation of one’s beliefs. Incidents can range from personal conflicts and gossip to more severe issues like spiritual abuse, exclusion, or misconduct. For many, it can lead to a crisis of faith, causing them to question their beliefs, the authenticity of their religious institution, or the very existence of a compassionate deity. For some, it results in leaving the church entirely, while others may choose to stay but with a loss of joy in their religious practices or guardedness. Let me first say “God nor the church hurt us, people hurt us.” Secondly, leaders in a church can experience church hurt as well; it goes both ways. Church hurt can occur when the actions or words of the community lay members or its leaders are in total contrast to what a person believes to be the teachings and values that an institution professes to uphold. When church hurt occurs, it can deeply affect the heart, and Proverbs 4:23 : "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Proverbs acknowledges the profound impact that emotional and spiritual well-being has on a person's overall life. It's a call to be vigilant about what we allow to influence us, recognizing that spiritual dissonance and conflict can profoundly affect our heart, which in turn affects every aspect of our lives. Therefore, since we know church hurt can affect other’s faith journey and affect their well-being Galatians 6:1-2 tells us to watch ourselves, or we also may be tempted. Also, carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."
The phenomenon of church hurt is as old the institutions (church) themselves. Where there have been organized religions and communities of faith, there have been potential conflicts and instances of hurt. This type of hurt can arise because of the innate nature of humans’ personal expectations, or the inherent power struggles within the church. Through history, religious institutions have been great source of solace and significant pain. Cases of church hurt may have become more visible in recent times due to the increased willingness of individuals to share their experiences publicly, and a growing societal expectation for transparency.
Church hurt in essence reflects the fact that religious organizations are made up of humans who are capable of mistakes and misconduct. Romans 12:18 Stresses we should strive for peace. While we understand peace is the goal, we also know there may be circumstances that make it challenging. To soften the hardening of the heart sometimes caused by church hurt simply acknowledging the hurt can foster forgiveness’. The acknowledgment of its existence is a step toward addressing the underlying causes and healing the wounds it can create. It is essential for church communities to recognize the validity of these hurts and to create safe spaces for healing and open transparency. Healing from church hurt is possible, but it requires time, grace, and often, change.
Once the root cause of hurt is recognized a church might implement changes to prevent similar issues in the future. This could include establishing accountability structures for leadership, creating clear and compassionate communication channels, or fostering a more inclusive environment. As these changes take root, they can help heal the communal wounds and transform the church into a healthier and more supportive space. A church may acknowledge past hurts caused within the community and seek forgiveness from those harmed. This process may involve apologies, listening sessions, and an attitude of grace both giving and receiving. The willingness to forgive can often open the door to healing and renewed fellowship. The examples of change listed may or may not work in all situations but proactive change is necessary in order to move forward in the positive direction.